Am I Living?

My favorite section in the "For Strength of Youth is the "Going Forward with Faith" pages. I know my standards, I know right from wrong and what I am supposed to do every day. But what am I supposed to do with that knowledge?

Sometimes I feel like we are all taught the principles of the gospel over and over, but then we ask "now what?" This section of the pamphlet tells exactly what you need to do with those principles. It teaches you to express gratitude, constantly build your testimony of the scriptures, be humble and willing to listen, and above all for me, don't give up on yourself.

I have a busy schedule, staying involved in my school as much as I can be. Earlier this year I realized school was completely consuming my thoughts and time. That is not a bad thing, but I was missing something.

My scripture study and prayers were just part of the daily motions, and sometimes I considered them less important because I needed to finish my homework and reading my scriptures would take time out of studying. Going to mutual became a "have to" not a "want to." I still knew all the principles of the gospel, I was still living by those principles, but I wasn't focused on being the Lord's hand. I was focused entirely on school and getting my needs done before God's.

One day I was asked to give a devotional in seminary about a section on the For Strength of Youth. I flipped through the pages, but nothing seemed to capture my eye. Finally, that last section about taking action and going forward in faith caught my eye. It asks a question, "Am I living the way the Lord wants me to live?" Suddenly I realized, though I am doing great worldly things, the light of Christ was no longer seen in my eyes.

I decided then to start studying my scriptures for longer, and I began pondering on what I had read instead of just falling asleep as soon as the book closed. My prayers changed dramatically. Instead of asking my Heavenly Father to do this and this and this, I asked Him to, "help me find opportunities to be [His] hand." My attitude changed almost instantly. I was still very involved in my school, but I was able to recognize the Lord in every simple miracle, and the Holy Ghost became my best friend and constant companion.

I never had forgotten about the standards the gospel had for me. I hadn't started dressing immodestly or using vulgar language, but I had forgotten to live the way the Lord wants me to live. Now I have gained a testimony that the standards are there to teach us, and we must press forward with that wonderful knowledge we are given in that small but powerful pamphlet.

We may not being doing things "wrong" but ask yourself, "am I living the way the Lord wants me to live?" and you will find that there is always room for improvement and spiritual growth.

This testimony of the gospel has really changed my life, as you can tell. I have grown to love our church will all my heart. With all the trials our family has gone through in the past year, it has made it the hardest year of my entire life, but I can ALWAYS rely on the gospel to strengthen me. Christ really has carried me through everything. I look back on all that I have done, and at times when I said, "I can't do this anymore" I can actually see Christ stepping in and helping me prove myself wrong. Wow. What a powerful tool I have.

I am always going to try and do better, and I know I’ll have seemingly impossible days. But now that I have learned so much about who I am and where I am going, the future doesn’t scare me and the past is only something I am learning from. I live for today. The small moments that make up my life.

The gospel is true, and you can get through anything.

"God only gives us trials we can overcome."
-Hannah