Lessons Learned

DISCLAIMER: This blogpost is not only going to be super honestly personal, but also very unorganized. I apologize.

As most everyone knows, last month I went through a pretty hard breakup. Without going into detail, the relationship wasn't very honest, and there were old ties that weren't fixed.

I can't complain. My boy gave me the best couple months, constantly spoiling me, making me feel like a million bucks and always being so sweet. He was the boy you read about in chick flicks; texting me good morning, calling me after work, bringing me sunflowers, using names like Darling and Sweetie, and always putting his arm around me, and kissing me on the forehead (perfect right?!).

It was so hard to lose him, but it was for the best.

Here's where the lessons start:

Lesson One: Everything Happens For a Reason

It's as simple as that. Though I hate why some things (like this) happen, I know there is a reason, and everything is for the best, even if it breaks your heart in the process. God never gives you trials you cannot overcome. And He can see the bigger picture. It happened for a reason, not sure why yet, but I know there is one!


Lesson Two: It's ok to Forgive

I had every reason to be completely furious and never talk to him again. In fact, the world would label him as being a terrible jerk who didn't deserve me. But from the second we broke up, I felt just as bad as he did. I felt the same emptiness, sadness, and loneliness he did. (And I cried for 24 hours straight.) It was hard for both of us!

Though I have never felt so much heart ache in my life, I have forgiven him. Whether it's because he didn't know he was doing something wrong, or he just didn't think about consequences, I know deep down, this guy has his heart in the right place, and he is always trying his hardest. How could I not forgive him? It was hard, I admit, but I have moved on. Which leads into Lesson Three...



Lesson Three: It's not Impossible.

This being my first break up, I had no idea what was going to happen. Everyone told me to forget about him, and completely move on. "Make him as jealous as you can" "Go and kiss the first boy you see" "Flirt it up!"  "Forget him, he isn't worth it"

 I tried as hard as I could to ignore him, block him out and remind myself of what he did to me. And (guess what?) I FELT  AWFUL! I was put through misery, and I cried every day. I felt like I didn't deserve this, and I was so angry.

One day I realized I was being totally selfish. Here I was, with a huge support group of friends and family who gave me endless amounts of love, flowers, chocolate, and sad songs, and he had nothing. No one was going to help him through it, because (in all reality) it was his fault we broke up.

I felt a new heartbreak. I felt a heartbreak towards him, and what he must've been going through. Heaven knows he probably felt awful! And I was making the situation worse by being cold towards him.

I guess maybe some people would call it impossible, but I decided I was going to become his friend.

At this point, I had no lovey-dovey connection with him, so I really was able to care for him as a friend. One time I even asked him if he had a lot of support or friends helping him. His response broke my heart(again), "You're my only friend, Hannah."

I talked to my mom because at first I thought, "Well, he did this to me, why should I be his therapist through my own breakup?! You aren't supposed to be friends with your ex, it doesn't work like that."

That's what most of the world says. And I know many people reading this would 100% agree.

But I'm here to prove that wrong.

He needed me now more than ever. He needed to feel love, and he needed to know I didn't hate him (as much as I acted like it). So, I sucked it up, wiped the last of my heartbreak tears from my cheeks, and decided I was no longer going to be his ex, I was going to be his friend.

(*Marc* if you are ever reading this, I hope I am at least somewhat accurate in this!)

It was hard. I had to go from being selfish to selfless towards a boy who broke my heart. What? Even I don't get it.

-Anyways, if you are still even reading this, I applaud you because I am (finally!) about to get to my point-


THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS WHOLE POST:
DESPITE WHATEVER SOMEONE HAS DONE TO YOU, IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE THEIR FRIEND!

(gasps)

Over the past couple weeks, I have built a strong friendship with a boy I "should've forgotten about." I can still talk to him about anything. I can still laugh with him and work on school projects together.

I know for a fact this isn't all my responsibility either. He has been supportive and wonderful and forgiving towards me, even at times when I don't deserve it. He has never stopped treating me with respect. I used to say I scored because I had the best boyfriend in the world, but I realized it wasn't him being mine that made him so great. It was him being him. That is why I loved him, and why he is still my friend.

Part of the reason I am writing this is because since we have become good friends, people have asked me if we are back together, or why I'm his friend or why I am being nice to this kid. The looks I get when I am with him at school or at basketball games are a mix of confused and angry and confused ;) And that's sad that it has to be like that.

It's sad that when you go through a breakup being friends is "impossible." Forgiveness is SO important, and though the past can't change, I can change from it.

 I am incredibly lucky to have this boy as my friend. To me, he is no longer my ex. I know maybe we are the 1 in a billion relationships that actually work out like this, but like I already said, I am lucky.

And guess what, my heart break and misery and loneliness is gone! Why keep feeling cruel towards someone when you could make a friend instead? It's not impossible.

Welp, that's it for my rant. Forgive everyone.

xoxo

Hannah

*names have been changed

Goals

A lot of young women's lessons lately have been on setting goals. This both exictes me and terrifies me. The future is so unknown, and I could do anything I want with it!
I love writing lists, so writing my goals down is like the ultimate life-long checklist that I fully intend on completing (unlike the 4 Summer Bucket Lists I have only halfway done).

I love reading about what other people want to accomplish in life, so I decided to share mine.

These are just a few goals I have for the awaiting future(in no particular order):

• Learn how to whistle
• Graduate from Westlake
• Go on an LDS misson
• Get first place in Rainbow Road
• Go to SouthernVirginia University
• Get married to my sweetheart in the temple
• See the Northern Lights
• Be called mom by a little mini half-me
• See my name printed on the cover of a book
• Perfect a messy bun(harder than it seems)
• Get a southern accent/drawl
• Become a professional photographer
• Learn how to walk in heels (HA!)
• Know all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody (halfway there)
• Have a little cottage I call home
• See Machu Pichu
• Keep a fish alive for longer than 2 months (danggit)
• Do humanitarian work somewhere
• Impact a life
• Pump my own gas (I am too scared to alone)
• Get both my splitz (types this while crying in pain halfway down)

I want to look back when I'm 80 and be proud of what I've done. How cool would that be!?
Setting goals is so important because of the growth and accomplishments that you can acheive. Even small, seemingly insignificant goals will establish who you are and who you've become. That's cool.


xoxo Hannah

My Amigos

People say that they have the best friends, but lemme tell you a lil secret... I took all the best ones already, sorry (not).

But really, between Date Wars, Temple Morning Devotionals, Taco Nights, Mario Smash Bros Competitions, and the endless amount of adventures, I call myself the luckiest to have 20+ best friends.

I don't have all the pictures of everything, but what I do have I cherish. When I am older, I will show my kids these pictures and brag to them about having the best times in high school because of these crazy people. Because really, they make my high school years the best years ever.

THANK YOU to all my friends who are the best people I know and the people I love the most! You all rock my world!

throwin it back to summer boarding adventures

this was the original taco night group! 

#tiedye24 !!!!



xoxo, Hannah

Aloha Kauai

I couldn’t have been more excited to go to Hawaii! It was at the perfect time for me to get away from all the drama and cold at home and spend a week on the beach (aka, my favorite place on earth).
Anyways, the plane ride there was 7 hours long, however, there is a 3 hour time set back, so we got to the island early afternoon. Flying over all the other islands was so cool! It is the coolest thing to see tiny little houses and cities out the airplane window, I couldn't look away for a second! But finally I saw our beautiful island of Kauai, topped with beautiful lush mountains, gold sandy beaches and the bright blue ocean. And the perfect vacation had begun.

We started our glorious trip by going to Costco. Costco is one of my favorite restaurants (polish dogs all the way!) so we ate there. Getting into the Hawaii spirit! (not!)

So, this map is to explain where the heck everything was that I did. I don’t know why, but visuals help show how small and wonderful this island is.

The airport is on the south side at Lihue. It took us 1 hour to drive to our little beach house. The drive is a one lane highway through tall trees and pretty little neighborhoods. My family jammed to Jack Johnson (because you have to when you’re on the same island that Jack Johnson makes his beautiful art).
We stayed at a little house in Hanalei Bay, a 2 second walk to the beach and a 5 minute walk to a little strip shop road with a bunch of shaved ice shacks and tourist boutiques.

 

Our beach had the most pillow-y sand and soft warm water. It was so nice. We spent the evening there.

The next day we drove all the way to the west side of the island, to a snorkeling beach called Poipu. I’ve never been snorkeling before, but very quickly fell in love with it. The fish were so beautiful, and I felt like a mermaid (always a good thing). Then my family beach hopped. We went to one beach to just play around in the water, we went to one to take a walk in the sand, we went to one to watch a blowhole, we went to another mini snorkeling one, and we went to a whale watching beach! By the end of the day I was covered in sand, salt and sweat, and I was beyond happy that I was. And I couldn’t tell you my favorite beach; they were all so beautiful.

On Thursday the plan was to go on a boat ride down the coast. I learned on the way there that this wasn’t just a pretty boat ride, it was a whale watching one! GAH! I’m terrified of whales, so suddenly the boat ride I was so excited for sounded like a death trap. I was still excited, but extremely nervous as well! Luckily, the waves were too big for the boat to go out, so we had to adjust our plans for the day.

We decided- after a breakfast of donuts and watching the sunrise on the beach- we would do a hike along the Napali Coast, to Hanakapiai waterfall. Originally we thought it was a 4 mile hike. We were wrong. It was actually 8 miles and all we had for nourishment was a bag of melted mnms. Good thing I’m soooo in shape (haha!)!

Anyways, this hike is actually the prettiest hike there is on earth! It’s right along the coast, with huge cliffs, and hidden beaches. Also, bonus, I felt like Jane (Tarzan) hiking through the jungle (basically). We finally made it to the waterfall where all exhaustion was forgotten about and all we wanted to do was swim. I finally fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams of swimming behind a waterfall! Woohoo!
After the hike we went out to eat at little Hawaiian places. I am a sucker for salads so I got some Hawaii mixed fruit salad and it was gone in a matter of seconds.

So, sidestory time. This whole vacation my family had been joking that we were gonna meet Jack Johnson on the island. I seriously believed it was entirely possible, especially when this man sat down and started playing his guitar at the trail head. It was so great! Granted he wasn’t Jack Johnson, and he only sang about chasing pretty girls and getting high, but nonetheless, he became my “Jack Johnson” for the week (or at least for the 30 seconds I sat next to him).

On Friday we rented a couple surfboards and spend the day surfing it up! I’m awful at surfing, but I absolutely love it (until the board smacks you in the head and you swallow a gallon of water). Plus, SO MANY hot surfers this week, it was eye candy everywhere! And I felt like a pretty fly kid for surfing some 4 foot waves. You’ll be seeing me at the next Women’s ASP Surfer competition (step aside Stephanie!).

(I'm the one in the middle)

--- (random story I wasn’t sure where to put) ----The first thing we noticed getting off the plane (besides the wonderful humidity and heat) were all the roosters wandering around! It’s the weirdest thing, there are literally thousands of roosters just doing their thing, regardless of where you are on the island. Apparently, once upon a time someone brought roosters to Kauai, there was a huge hurricane and the roosters spread all over the island. I’m used to having seagulls on the beach, trying to nab my goldfish, but not a seagull in sight! Just roosters! It was hilarious until 4 in the morning when every rooster wakes up and decides it’s time for the rest of the island to wake up too. ------


Saturday meant try 2 for the whale watching boat ride. And, to my mother’s great joy, the water was perfect to go out on! The boat ride was 7 hours long, and just 5 minutes out we already had seen 2 whales. But, I was too busy looking at the cute little dolphins to really notice.

But just look how pretty!!!

We stopped at a little hidden reef to snorkel, and if I thought Poipu was cool I hadn’t seen anything yet! It was amazing, colorful and there were the coolest fish everywhere!

We snorkeled again at a turtle place, and sea turtles may just be my new favorite animal after they just swam right up to me to say hello (another mermaid moment). The only downside to snorkeling there were the whale sounds you heard underwater. It was haunting. Like, they were mocking me and I didn’t stay in the water very long for fear of swimming right next to a whale.

The whole boat trip was absolutely beautiful! We saw more whales than the captain had ever seen (thank you, not) and one even decided it wanted to breech 10 feet away from me. (Whale splash on Hannah Price resulted in screaming and changing my clothes.) (I could see its barnacles. IT’S BARNACLES!) I never wanted to be that close to a whale, and lucky for me, I was the closest one to it!

Anyways, side story time again! On the boat I met Philip. He is from Germany, and from the second he said “Have you eaten all the cantaloupe?!” I knew we’d be friends. We spent the morning of the boat ride eating almost the entire tray of cantaloupe slices, and talking about all the cool places he has been. We spent the afternoon stealing 12 cookies and teaching me how to pronounce his last name. We’ve stayed in touch since the boat ride, and I honestly never believed I could get a best friend in 7 hours. But Phil is definitely one of the best!

Sunday was our last day. We went to the happiest branch ever! The people in Hawaii are so so so nice and they really have the Aloha spirit. We then went to Tunnel’s beach and I collected little treasures and broken shells. We visited a little snocone shack with the best snow cones on earth! I don’t know how the Hawaiian people make ice with syrup taste like heaven, but they do!

we also played cards. you can probably guess who was losing...

On Monday we made the sad flight home. I plugged in my Jack Johnson and fell asleep for most of the ride. The torture of feeling the cold Utah air was not very welcoming, and I still haven’t thawed out. I am in need of another beach trip ;)
And that sums up my wonderful Hawaii vacation! Hopefully it won’t take me months to make the video (sigh).

Mahalo Hawaii!